It's a Judgmental World, After All
Updated: Mar 22, 2022
Phoebe Law, or better known by her pseudonym - Flaw, is an amateur writer undertaking her first year of English with Creative Writing. Currently, her most well-known work is 'Warfare of the Brain', a collection of poems published on Inkitt. Other works include the ongoing 'Tomorrow Stray Dogs' series published on Archive of Our Own, as well as a selection of poems and short stories published in her high school anthology and yearbook titled 'Beyond Imagination' and 'Beneath the Surface' respectively. Other than collecting her favorite books to make her own at-home library, Flaw hopes to become an all-rounder writer and to continue publishing more of her written works in the future.
TW// mentions of slurs, insults, incidents of harassment and bullying, suicide
The bell rang from the intercom. Loud. Jarring. Static. What immediately followed were the scraping of chair legs and hurried classmates’ footsteps across the grimy, tiled floor, rushing out without another second of thought.
Yet, I hovered behind, frantically reaching for the phone in my bag’s pocket. Bangtan Sonyeondan (BTS) had just released their new music video ‘MIC DROP’. I had waited so long for it, long enough to watch it in lonesome.
Thirty seconds in, I was glued to the screen, entertained, smiling widely. My head bopped unconsciously in rhythm to the EDM beats, the flashy strobe effects and Kim Taehyung’s bold voice emanating through the tiny speakers of my phone.
Did you see my bag? Did you see my bag?
What you think ‘bout that? What you think ‘bout that—
“Aiyo, BTS again? Why this girl suddenly crazy about those plastic gays ah?”
My head snapped towards the snide remark’s source, yet no one was there. My smile had disappeared. Disheartened, I left the room.
Every fibre of my being was irked by the implicit connotation of that utterance: my time and effort to support seven human beings was disgusting! That there would always be people passing inconsiderate judgments as effortlessly as breathing.
When BTS received the Billboard Award for ‘Top Social Artist’ in 2017, they have since been recognized as one of the most popular artists in the world, their impact helping other K-Pop groups gain international recognition.
This inspired me to expand my music preferences beyond BTS, cultivating within me a deep sense of respect in understanding K-Pop’s diversity and their vast contribution to the global music industry.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t long till the true horrors surrounding K-Pop fan culture became known to me. Specifically, how our society blindly obeyed this culture’s code of judgment.
Seungri (real name: Lee Seunghyun) is a former member of BIGBANG, a K-Pop boy band whose legacy still influences K-Pop today. Since 2018, he has been misassociated with Burning Sun, a nightclub where a male named Kim Sang Kyo assaulted a female employee.
By posing as the whistleblower, Kim diverted attention towards Seungri which resulted in a two-year investigation that uncovered a number of other wrongdoers. This also caused many media outlets and non-VIPs (people not part of BIGBANG’s fandom) to misidentify Seungri’s involvement, confusing him with another perpetrator named Lee Jonghyun (former member of CNBLUE rock band), who was involved in molka (secret filming of rape videos).
Being his fan since I was eleven, I felt an obligation to help prove Seungri’s innocence by providing evidence against people that refused to do their own research into his case.
In return, I was on the receiving end of public posts branding me as a ‘criminal stan’. These supposed ‘justice warriors’ consisted of people tweeting posts with captions such as “SEUNGRI RAPIST, HIS SICK STANS NEED TO STFU” or “I hope you get raped since you support a rapist.”
Despite witness testimonies pointing to Seungri’s innocence, he was still convicted. And my will, ultimately silenced by the delighted jeers of his antis (people harboring irrational hatred against someone), was subjected to the mindless conformity expected of someone my youthful age.
Hence, it became my greatest fear: this generation taking advantage of social media to judge others carelessly to their hearts’ content, leading to a hunger for hate that will spread, just like the plague settling over our dilapidating earth.
Having completed my assignments, I’m lazily propped on my living room couch’s throw pillow, wanting to do nothing else for the rest of the night. My weary eyes hover over the TV’s black screen reflecting my couch-potato posture and the wooden coffee table littered with stationery, notebooks, and my phone - intimidating reminders of more work to do the next morning.
Speaking of the devil, I’m suddenly alerted by Choi Soobin, the leader of Tomorrow x Together (an upcoming K-Pop boy band), his husky voice whispering “T-Time~”. Having forgotten to lower the volume prior, a gentle murmur becomes a blaring disturbance, and I cringe inwardly as my period of tranquility is disturbed.
Nevertheless, I extended my arm towards my phone, pulling it back to check whatever unnecessary university email that had popped up.
Instead, it was just a text message from one of the few classmates I sincerely considered to be a friend. I opened WhatsApp and my eyebrows raised in questionable fashion at her starter.
“My sister just told me one of her friends blocked her because she said she didn’t like K-Pop and preferred other types of music,” it read.
I automatically responded “What?” - more out of disbelief that she, an anti, was texting me about said topic on her own accord. In quick succession as to not leave my initial response bare, I followed up:
“I’m sorry she had to go through that. She doesn’t deserve a friend like her.”
“I feel bad she had to go through that too, like what I went through when I was still in high school.”
We got lost in a winded ramble, venting out frustrations at the injustice weighed upon her sister, and discussing our grievances regarding such quick-to-judge people. Our previously-held beliefs were reaffirmed as our conversation came to a close after forty-five minutes.
“I admit I am a K-Pop anti. I have my reasons for disliking it and I can be irrational towards it.”
“But you don’t disclose that hate in public. So I don’t think that makes you entirely an anti.”
“But I despise everything K-Pop-related because it reminds me of all the people who disrespected my preferences. Still, I know better than to express my hate where it’s unwarranted.”
“People nowadays always do that: letting their hate consume themselves. It’s why I separated myself from that side of K-Pop: respect just doesn’t seem to exist anymore.”
“Right? That’s also why I am glad that I met a K-Pop stan like you - you understand.”
After we signed off, I steadily exhaled as I recalled memories where more wars were started than friendships formed, more toxicity spewed than respect bestowed.
As I called home to my embedded beliefs, it all proved pointless; an utter waste of time. Nothing was clearer than where I believed the true problem lied: the judgement contained within people’s hearts.
Perhaps I may never grasp the reason behind wishing curses and death threats upon strangers who dedicate their livelihood to produce art. Perhaps, it is others who may never grasp my grief when a K-Pop artist of my hard-earned support is framed unjustly; my bliss when my bias (favourite member of a group) posts a selfie, comfort like that of returning home.
After all, K-Pop is subjective: entertainment formulated for pleasure. Since people and their preferences are different, there will always be those that exist to find fault with it.
My friend and I are an exception, living proof that it doesn’t have to be so painstakingly difficult to find common ground, that this pointless battle of proving our judgment ‘right’ or ‘relevant’ can be transformed into something better.
While this piece only acknowledges a continuum of issues in our culture that may never be fixed in our current lifetime, perhaps someday, the necessary renewal to become aware of the open-minded means of change and improvement - as well as the abandonment of hate and judgment - will arrive.
-- written by Phoebe Law, edited by Kishaun Xavier